A while ago i had written 2 strange artikels in where i needed to correct my mistake of misinformation.
You can read this article over here.
To start, i can find 2 Cynthia Howerd’s online.
I am not talking about Cynthia Howard the High Performance Consultant.
I have never met this lady so i can not give my opinion about here and i never will.
She comes across as a fair and helpful lady.
I do talk about Cynthia Howard in where Jay Essex had warned about.
A while ago she had a group on facebook cald “truthwarriorsareus”.
In the beginning (before all this started according to my knowledge) she talked to a lot of humans from the facebook page of Jay Essex.
She started to connect a lot of humans together and engaged communication.
She contacted me, and she told me that i was here sister from a past life.
I could feel a strong heart connection and because i was craving contact (i was in a social isolation at that part of my life) i could feel her warm heart and started to talk to here.
She told me that i am source and my dog Sasja was a source-animal.
That did not felt right to me, but i just take it with a grain of salt.
She did help me get started and connected me to some facebook friends that i new have.
And i talk to some humans on facebook because of here.
Until here, I trusted here but there was not a lot going on.
After a while (and still in the group of truthwarriorsareus) things started to become freaky and I was not aware of what i was doing.
Cynthia started to see Jay as a kind of god.
Promoted him and carried him on a golden platter.
She told others that it was the idea of Jay to start this group, but in no way or shape, is he conected to this group.
The idea to start the Facebook Group came from a different place.
The idea to start a Facebook Group to help connect everybody started with Jay talking about that everybody at his facebook page, soult start to talk to the others.
In no way or shape did he talk about starting up a facebook page for this.
The intention was that everybody just started talking, connecting and share information, that’s it .
Somebody on the other side gave a unhealthy swing to this in where it (i don’t know who it was) took that thought concept and have blown it out of proportions.
I was feeling the same thing and completely loose from Cynthia, to start a group like that.
But it was pushed into me and the urge felt so powerful that i already knew that if i started a group like that, it drives me into another psychoses.
Do remember, i don’t have to be pushed hard to get to me.
I have that natural ability to go crazy and i am psychoses-sensitive.
This is one of the situations in where a tough process would be a good idea, but somebody on the other side wanted to play a mindgame with this to stress you more out.
But in no way or shape would Jay to stress somebody out in his video’s.
It is in where you’re emotions are taken over in the basic-chakra, powered up to empluft it and running you.
That is one of many ways.
The video’s Jay made, became a hot topic and where posted almost real time in the group as they were on Youtube.
Yes, i started to get involved into this rat-race and became more passionate about his information.
To be fair, I started to do the same and became influenced by here.
I forgot to keep my own morals and standards.
I was so happy that i was in a group because i was lonely that it had its impact on me and others.
(But it seems that i have the perfect gift to place a plate to my head and miss the complete picture.)
I loved the information he was putting online.
Here we have one man who is telling everything in a simple way and i just got it.
As if a big puzzle started to fall into place.
When you are sensitive fore it (as i can be but i learned my lessons) you can lose the focus and start to believe almost everything.
Do know that it was easy for me in that time because i was in a lot of pain, painkillers were not working, i was an alcoholic to deal with the pain, doctors could not find the problem and because of the overload of sensory information, in combination of alcohol, seizures, clusterhead pain, small hemorrhaging in the brain-membrane, paralyzation, periods of pure screaming out of pain and even out of body experience, i became very sensitive for this.
New that i have found the medical problem, i can educate doctors about it who are not aware of it.
But pain will always be a part of my life.
I don’t want you to worry about it, i know what it is and it is a medical problem in where western medication can not help me.
What i do want to point out that i was looking for a way to live without pain and here was a person who (maby?) understood me or was trying to understand me.
So i was so easy to fall into this mind trick with my own brain, because it meant less pain for me.
(It is weird how the body and brain works to follow the path of the lesser pain.)
The path of less pain is a path that most drugaddicitve have, to avoid the pain in their life.
After a while, there was one person in this group who was calling Jay the worst name that you can call somebody.
He did mention it in one of his video’s, but i don’t remember what video (there are a few 100 video’s online).
To be bold, you can call him an idiot, freak or weirdo and more and he smiles it off.
But certain names are subjects who are to horrible for words.
Jay vented his frustration online and warned everybody to get away from that page of Cynthia.
It took me a few days or weeks (i can not remember the timespan) but i left that page to.
I do to have to tell you that Cynthia made me an admin on that facebook page, so i was posting information there to.
During the time that Jay was venting his feelings, Cynthia told me that Jay visit here regularly astral at night.
I thought that that was real and that despite the situation, Jay still wanted to help here.
But as i look back new on the situation, it was a brainfart.
Or she was imagen it, or she was delusional.
After a while and talking to other humans, who talk to Cynthia, they told me that she indeed was helping others.
They did see that she was a little off at that time, but wanted to help here anyway.
So i trusted them and came back to the facebook group “truthwarriorsareus”.
And i send here a friend request again on facebook.
She added me back and she told me that her heart was broken when i cut of communication.
Somehow i felt the same way as if my heart was torn apart when we talkt again via messenger.
Between all of this gaos, i had a consult and there i was told that i was faeman and not source.
That sounded more logical to me.
And Sasja (my dog) was animal essence.
After a while of talking and communicating, things started to become weird.
She felt a swirl of energy around her.
According to Cynthia, those are her kids from past lives.
(This swirl is important, so remember the swirl for this artikel.)
I took a look at it and i was registering that to (but nothing about here “kids”.)
She had no negative feelings about this and i had no understanding of what it really was, so i trusted here on here words.
Later Jay gave another warning about Cynthia in his video’s.
She was misinforming others bigtime and created a lot of chaos because of this.
This time i was done with it.
I did observe the situation for a while, but i left the group and ended my friendship with Cynthia.
I was truly sad about this because i was leaving a group that was looking for information.
And i lost a lot of contacts on facebook.
But after awhile, the sadness left and i went on with my life.
About a year later, we come in the freaky part and the main reason that i am angry at this lady.
You can read the big part of what happened in another artikel who is important to understand the complete story.
I did left a part out of this artikel, but later she made me so angry that i need to tell you the truth over Cynthia Howard and who she really is.
So before you read the rest of the article, read this article first and you get a complete picture of the story.
The woman that i named “Anita” is realy Cynthia Howard.
New that you have read it, i can tell you the rest of the story.
Cynthia (Anita) was calling me on Skype after a year that I quit all contact with here.
Later when i joined the astral missions, i was feeling a negative energy around me.
Because Cynthia has a BIG EGO in where she thinks that she is queen of the Drachk and the Drachk carry here around on a golden platter, it is more easy for a negative soul to influence here.
She will believe anything that is told to here if she can feel important.
You remember that swirl of energy around here?
That could be the negative soul (or souls) who are helping here to build up a BIG EGO.
And what is telling here that she is queen of the Drachk.
New we go back in time and i need to add some information about myself.
About 15 months before this situation, i was in so much pain that during a blackout, i destroyed a window whit a chair.
The glass was in my living room, so i lockt up my dog Sasja in the toilet.
I have no other room to lock here in to protect her feet fore the glass.
I was in total panic because it was evening, but there was still some daylight.
I went towards my caretaker’s house with lead in my feet.
I needed help but was afraid to ask for it.
(Until new, i was always misunderstood because of the pain that i had in where even doctors could not find the problem.)
The result that that was the last time that i have seen my dog fore over more than 8 months.
(Alto i keep talking about myself in this article, Sasja was well taken care of by others that night.
She was not abandoned and left alone.
Somebody else took care of here fore a few days until they brought here to a good dog shelter that i have picket out.)
From my caretaker i could not leave there house.
She called the cops for me because i was very verbal aggressive but i was not hitting anybody.
The cops showed up and prevented me from leaving the office in the house of my caretaker.
Because my caretaker thought it was time for me to go a closed mental institution fore my own protection, she called a doctor to asses the situation.
The doctor came over and he wanted me to take in Haldol so that i could calm down.
He gave me 2 options, the pill or a squirt in my bottom.
After some time, i took the pill.
The Haldol was not strong enough for me so they needed to inject the squirt in my bottom.
I did not wanted that, so i was resisting and the cops had to put me down to the ground.
During that moment that the doctor was putting the squirt in my bottom, i got a instant flashback of my past life in where there was a group-rape going on.
I was in a forest and all around me where cars with the headlights on.
In the middle was me and i was raped by some men.
I was screaming to stop this (during the insert of the squirt) because it remembers me of a rape.
The officers kept me down to the floor until the doctor was ready.
(When you move heavy with a needle in your body, it can become dangerous.)
New i understand that it was fore my own protection, but during that moment i wanted to protect myself.
When the medication started to work, i was send to a closed mental institution for 3 months.
The problem of all the pain comes from a longstanding ear infection for over more than 15 years.
That pain drove me insane and the influence of sound on the ears drove me into multible psychoses.
Combine that with Misophonia that i have, and you get a clear picture of what was going on.
To add more to the picture, i have a thinner protection layer over my nerves (Myelin) that makes me more sensitive.
But not that dangerous that it turns into MS.
During that time there was even more going on on astral level, but that is fore another artikel.
But it is just to give you a basic understanding of the story between Sasja and me.
During my stay in the closed metal institution, i was in pain to.
I ask to fore a doctor during one night because my ears were really killing me with pain, but i was refused a doctor.
After that time, i was on heavy anti-psychotic medication that i quit 6 months ago.
Between that time and new, i moved house and got another room within the organisation of the open institution where i live.
Their sound was a big problem to.
I found a new house-doctor who did see my problem in my ears.
It was a double ear sinus infection that could heal with good medication.
After about a month, the ear infection was gone and i never got it back.
But i did created a strong Pavlov reaction in my brain during the situation in my whole life.
We fast forward again to about a few months ago.
It took me a long time to visit my dog because i was scared to fall into another psychoses because of here sounds.
In the house where i lived then, pets were not allowed there so i could not get Sasja back home.
During that time, she stayed over in a good dog shelter where she had the best time of here life.
Around januarie/februarie 2017, I moved house again to a new apartment but still inside the organisation.
After i settled in, i got that call of Cynthia on Skype.
And the whole story plays of the artikel whent on.
When i quit that group on Skype, I still had that negative soul around me.
Trying to get to me.
Maybe one or two months later, i was able and ready to bring Sasja back home.
She was 13 years already and a big dog.
The first few days i was so happy, but then my old fears started to come back.
The fear that here sound can send me back into overdrive.
I have no other room in where i can place here during the night, so my bed is in my room.
I love it when Sasja sleeps with me in my bed, but because of the Misophonia it drives me crazy because she is breathing.
I know it sounds crazy to you, but when you understand Misophonia it makes sense of the situation.
This in combination of the extreme Pavlov reaction i have built up during my life around sound, you might get a understanding of the situation.
In my case and because of that strong reaction, a negative soul dont have to push me hard to get to me.
There were situations that when even a normal person was just pointing at my ears, it hurt already.
Talking about ears, hurt my ears….it can be a weird sensation, but during an episode or period of pain it is a normal thing.
Just like you have a natural reaction to pull back when someone warns you that an item is hot.
As an infant you have learned that hot can be painful.
So it is a normal reaction of the body, to protect you.
But in my situation and the strong emotions, it got twisted.
I did know that a negative soul was messing with me that came from the Skype Group where Cynthia called the shots.
In this video, you can see with your own eye’s how I looked into my own energy.
Look at my eye’s and how tired they are.
That is not from a lack of sleep.
Freeze frame, and i invite you to take a look around.
You are more than welcome.
Because of the old fear and still the sensitive ears, i dove back into my own little world called the internet.
I can put on Youtube and listen to music to blur out normal sound.
But because i have electrostress, i can not get a headset with bluetooth.
So my movement was limited by the cord of the headset.
That negative soul brought me back into the state of fear…fear to go into another psycoses and loose my dog all over again at here old age.
Fear became a part of my life again.
During that time, i had in the room next door a housemate (we all have our own rooms, but i talk about another client in this building.)
She loved strong perfume and so much that it created migraines with me.
It was summer so i could open a window, but the scent was so strong that i got migraines again.
Migraines that last hole days.
In one situation i was walking in the hall and i bumped into a wall of perfume that knocked me down.
I needed to go out for fresh air because my throat closed itself.
The perfume was too much for me.
So here i am…..
Scared to go back because of the sound Sasja makes and the perfume next door.
There was no way that i could talk to her because she would not understand.
What you have to understand to that smell can be comfortable for other humans.
But because everybody has a mental block in there own spirit or body (can be even both) there thought process is limited.
So altho i can understand here toughtprosses and comfort she has of this smell, it is creating migraines.
So here i am, no choice and i need to keep living.
During my stay in the house before this where i lived for 1,5 years without Sasja, i had another male neighbor who loved trance and other music of that kind, i was walking outside for 5 hours a day to escape the pain.
With Misophonia, even a radio or tv that is soft in sound can trigger pain.
It sounds crazy, but this is my reality.
Let alone when it is a few hours every day.
This man had a mental block anyway and a vibe around him that nobody liked.
He was “spiritual active” but had the mindset of a toddler.
He wanted to build a shrine in his room (until there i have no problem with it and anybody can do what he or she likes) but he wanted to hold seances that can trigger negative souls into the home.
He was drawing ET’s whit big diks, that is stuff that a teenager can do.
But not an adult in his 20’s.
So fear started to come back into my life.
-The fear that i need to go out AGAIN every day for 5 hours a day to prevent a migraine (and that triggers more body problems).
-The fear that perfume can trigger me into seizures again.
-The fear that i am going to loose my dog because of this and never see her alive back.
This created so much chaos in my head and in combination of this negative entity, I shut down and returned to my “safe place on the internet”.
During her stay back in my house, I have taken Sasja to the vet for a big check up on here health.
I found out that she has kidney problems, so i needed to change kibbel fore here.
She started to take pain medication because of her arthritis.
But despite that, i know that she was happy to be home again.
But i am heartbroken that i could not give here the love and attention that she deserved.
After about 2 months, she started to shake with her head to flap here ears.
I looked at here ears, but i could not find the problem.
I could see that she was not in pain, but in a big irritation with her ear.
So i took here that same day to the vet and he saw an object in her ear.
During the consult, he could not take it out.
It was better to bring here under a light sleep so that they can take the object out.
It was so close to the eardrum, that they need to be careful not to hurt is.
I left here behind fore the day at the vet and later that day i picked here up again.
The problem was a string of hair that got stuck into the earcanal.
It is rear, but it can happen.
After she came back home again, the horror started.
She did not recover well from the light sleep.
She was throwing up, diarrhea and could not stand up on her own.
I called the vet the next day and i brought her back over for a checkup.
A normal dog would have been standing on its own feet again and be eating by new.
But Sasja could not stand on her own and i needed to lift her up.
She squeal that she was in pain.
So the vet gave here some shots to help here recover.
It did not help and i took here again the next day to the vet.
She was still not able to stand up on her own feet, and was not eating.
Heavy diarrhea and throwing up.
Whatever i did, she did not recover.
After 2 or 3 days of pure pain (she was on more painkillers to help stop the pain) i took here to the vet and it was time to say goodbye.
I let her go home that day…it was enough.
After i got home without Sasja, i was heartbroken.
I did not understand and was angry.
I wanted to change, but i could not pull myself out of it for Sasja.
She was just back home for 2 moths and new gone again.
It was unfair…why would this happen to me?
In all that happend, she was taken away again.
New i know that she was called home again so that i could heal.
All the pain that she had, all the pain during all here lives.
The abuse, the horror, the slaughtering.
And even the abuse during here last life.
I don’t understand how old source was so blaintend in this and how it loved the abusive way.
During all this time, my anger is new turned towards them.
This is one of the reasons why i am trying to understand how deep this rabbit hole of abuse is going in creation.
That is why you read those weird artikels i write.
The abuse, the cleanup, the ET-warnings but too about the good stuff that is coming.
Some time after i let Sasja go, I could feel that this negative soul wanted to bring me back into that group on Skype.
It got my eterical middelvinger and it can kiss his own bottom.
A few days later, Cynthia contacted me again via Skype.
She told me that it was time for me to come back.
That it was time.
Boy, that was the first time i could hear Sasja growl from the other side.
Sasja know what was going on and this growl was towards Cynthia.
All this time, I was willing to let the situation go.
But after here last contact, i was done with here and therefore i am writing my warning about Cynthia Howard new.
I did place a warning about here, direct on my facebook and got response from others who got the same cold reaction from Cynthia.
According to here, i spread out misinformation and i gossip about there.
She is not talking about my artikels, but that i was spreading around misinformation about here.
Wel lady, here you have it.
This is my gossip about you.
My truth and anybody who have the ability to check it out, can go ahead.
The only thing i want to hide here is the pain and tears.
I take full responsibility of what i did.
Nothing is what it seems and there is always a story behind situations.
Altho the field is helping where it can (the field is doing this for everybody), i am warned.
If i get another pet while i still have these very sensitive ears, i am in big troubles.
I understand this because i know that i will fall back into my old behavior if i should take in another dog.
I don’t even want a goldfish as a pet.
So i don’t have an new pet and i will not have a new pet as long as the problems keep going with my ears.
I even wanted to go deaf because of my ear problems.
Doctors can cut your hearing-nerves, but that can create a whole new set of medical problems.
There is a big risk involved into cutting ear nerves to go deaf. so that i could hold Sasja with me.
Too big to risk it.
This is why i am mad at here.
I don’t like to gossip, but new it is not gossiping but a warning.
I have cut all connections with Cynthia and i know that Karma will deal with here.
I have saved the conversations with others about their experiences with Cynthia, but for their protection, I have removed their names.
Animals are really amazing and they understand.
Altho i am sad about it, i do know it is better that she is home again.
She is still around and will be for a while.
She is free new and will never be forced to go back into a body.
One nickname Cynthia is juicing a lot is Sapphire moon moon.
You can find this name back into some snaps of conversations in my mailbox.
All the information comes from other, but again to not call out names i have blurred them out.
There was more information, but it contains to much personal information, so i will not place it online.
Again fore clarification: Jay Essex was in no way involved personal in this situation.
He never joind the chat and was in no way personal involved in this situation.
Alto Cynthia names him, Jay was in no way or shape connected to this.
There was an abuse of his name and only his name and in the toughtprosses of Cynthia got a life of its own.
In no way or shape am i involved whit Jay Essex.
I have no other personal contact whit him than a few emails and a few consults.
I do follow his video’s online and that is where i got all my information from.
Iborgain is a plant base substands to help quit heavy addictions.
Although it is privet when someone is looking fore help, i left it in this text box.
When somebody is looking fore a healthy alternative to benefit its life and this person feels like this is the way fore him, it should be encouraged and not broken down.
In this conversation, you can see into the toughtprosses of Cynthia Howard.
Sapphire is a nickname of Cynthia.